Pillars, Not Just Pills: The Healing Journey Is Complex
I received a comment after my last Pillar Post jokingly asking if I might be working for Big Pharma. The answer is no. My goal is not to push medication on everyone. I share my lived experience with bipolar disorder to raise awareness about chronic mental health conditions and to show that while medication matters, it is never the whole story. I want to make it very clear that my healing rests on pillars, not just pills. Isn’t it wild how adding two letters can change everything? Turning “pills” into “pillars” is actually the perfect truth, because my stability comes from so much more than prescriptions.
I speak openly about my bipolar disorder because it’s my reality. Chronic conditions like mine are not excuses. They are medical conditions rooted in brain chemistry. Stigma reduces them to “just labels” and ignores their complexity. Not all mental health struggles are the same. Situational stressors, like a breakup, often ease with time and coping tools. Chronic conditions, like bipolar disorder, persist regardless of life circumstances and affect how you think, feel, and act.
I’m not a doctor and I’m not here to debate causes. My aim is to share my journey so that others who are struggling, or supporting someone who is, feel less alone. My experience spans over twenty years, with a diagnosis twelve years ago. The signs began in high school, though I didn’t see them for what they were. In college, desperate to feel better, I made unhealthy choices. My symptoms weren’t just tough weeks. They followed a cycle. During manic highs I had racing thoughts, risky behavior, little sleep, and a false sense of invincibility. Then came the crashes into deep, isolating lows with no clear trigger.
After a suicide attempt, I was formally diagnosed. That diagnosis came after years of trying diet changes, lifestyle tweaks, and counseling that never stabilized me. The rollercoaster of emotions disrupted my health and daily routines. Three hospitalizations later, I began to fully understand the impact on my relationships and worldview. Bipolar disorder will be with me for life, but I’m proud of the work I’ve done to heal and grow.
To show the difference between situational and chronic challenges, here’s an example. Once, I was pulled over for speeding and had a panic attack. My chest tightened, my heart raced, and my mind spun with fears about fines, insurance, and shame. It was terrifying, but once the moment passed, so did the anxiety. That was a situational stressor. It was temporary and could be managed with therapy tools or short-term supports.
Chronic conditions like my bipolar disorder aren’t tied to one event. They come from brain chemistry and continue even when life is calm. Recognizing that helped me understand my needs and find the right support. Living with bipolar affects everyday life in unpredictable and intense ways. I experience anxiety attacks from the smallest triggers. During depressive lows, fear and paranoia can take hold. When a high comes, I feel invincible and like I can do anything. These shifts happen without rhyme or reason and have led to three inpatient hospital stays. Without medicine, life is not manageable. With medicine, the symptoms still occur, but less frequently and are easier to control, especially with the four pillars I rely on for my healing journey.
Medication is part of my stability, but it is not the whole picture. The psychiatry pillar is where it begins. A specialist prescribed a mood stabilizer, an antidepressant, and a calming medication. Together, they create a chemical balance I cannot achieve on my own, giving me the stability I need to engage in therapy and relationships. Over time, I have been able to reduce dosages, but medication remains an essential part of my foundation.
The therapy pillar has been life-changing. I meet with my therapist weekly, and our sessions vary depending on what I need. Sometimes it is talk therapy, other times energy work or guided imagery. Through this process, I have built a toolbox of coping skills, from grounding techniques to breaking problems into smaller steps. One important breakthrough was learning to personify my medication to help me stay compliant. This is a common challenge for people with bipolar disorder because it can be tempting to stop taking meds once moods stabilize, assuming the illness is healed. Accepting that bipolar is a lifelong condition has been vital. These tools help me handle daily stressors, and I will be sharing more about them in future posts.
My family is another pillar that keeps me grounded. Every Saturday I go to my parents’ house to spend time with my niece and nephew, which is always a highlight of my week. During the rest of the week, we stay connected through phone calls and a lively group chat with my parents, brother, and sister. Their constant support reminds me that I am never walking this journey alone. I’m also incredibly grateful for my spouse, who has stood by me through two hospitalizations during our marriage. He has become a strong part of my family pillar, learning and growing alongside me—even attending counseling to gain skills for navigating our relationship. His love, patience, and commitment have been a source of strength and gratitude in my life.
The fourth pillar is faith. My spiritual practices keep me centered and give me purpose. I attend church, pray, listen to podcasts, and draw strength from devotionals, music, and my community. Prayer has been as powerful for me as meditation. My church family stood by me in my lowest moments, and today I find joy in giving back to them and to others. Through my church, I’ve become a warrior of Christ, serving God’s work with faith and trust that only comes from a deep relationship with Him. But it’s not just about faith—it’s about community. We share meals, go to concerts, visit each other’s homes, help each other move, and are always there to listen and support one another. Being part of this church family has shown me the strongest form of companionship, where love, service, and friendship come together. I’m so proud to walk this journey with them.
Together, these four pillars of psychiatry, therapy, family, and faith form the structure that supports my mental health. Medication stabilizes my brain chemistry, therapy equips me with tools, family offers connection, and faith gives me meaning. This combination has brought me balance, clarity, and resilience. My healing rests on pillars, not just pills. Two little letters change everything.
Click here if you would like to read more about my story, From Chaos to Strength: My Bipolar Journey to Healing and Redemption.
