The Personification of Medication
Therapy forms a key pillar of my Four Pillars Model, a healing framework I developed in 2025 after a 12-year mental health journey guided by Dr. Cindy H. Carr, a pastoral counselor. This model was inspired by a project she created for her doctoral degree at Liberty University, using my story to build a framework for pastoral counseling. In 2019, I faced a challenging time. After discontinuing my medications, I spent a week in May at the psychiatric unit of Sentara RMH Medical Center. By July, I was hospitalized again, this time for two weeks at Bon Secours in Richmond after an ambulance transfer from the University of Virginia Medical Center. Even after these stays, I grappled with restarting medication, feeling it signaled I was flawed or unworthy. Yet, when I resumed treatment, the relief was clear, trapping me between resistance and acceptance.
In 2019, when I reconnected with Dr. Carr, she insisted that I see a therapist and referred me to Hannah Hall, who would change my outlook. She suggested personifying my medications, viewing them as supportive allies rather than sources of shame. This simple shift was transformative. Instead of ignoring my emotions, Hannah listened with compassion. She proposed an unusual exercise: "Draw your medications," she said. "Give each one shape, color, and a voice."
At the time, I didn’t know this moment would become a turning point in my healing journey. What began as a simple drawing exercise turned deeply personal, emotional, and transformative. I assigned each pill a unique shape and name: Mr. Klonopin, Mr. Lamictal, and Ms. Prozac. I started speaking to them. Initially, it felt strange. Over time, these conversations became therapeutic. I expressed gratitude for what my medications did well, like calming my thoughts, stabilizing my mood, and bringing clarity. I also mourned their downsides, such as side effects, tiredness, and occasional emotional flatness. Then, I had a revelation: like people in our lives, when the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, they’re worth keeping.
My medications are more than helpers on this journey. They’re part of who I am, woven into my identity and chosen family, helping me stay grounded, clear, and safe. Each of my three medications plays a unique role, serving a vital purpose. Klonopin calms my anxiety and intense emotions, Lamictal stabilizes my mood to prevent bipolar highs and lows, and Prozac lifts my mood while easing depression, fostering clarity and resilience. Now, as I take them from my pill holder each morning, I smile and softly say, "Good morning. Thank you."
This small practice of mindfulness and gratitude has reshaped how I approach medication compliance. I know how tough it can be to stick with meds. I understand the fear, frustration, and shame tied to accepting a lifelong diagnosis like bipolar disorder. I also know the risks of going without them. When I talk to others struggling with their diagnosis or treatment plans, I share this story. Medication isn’t a penalty. It’s a partner, a lifeline, a tool.
Mental illness can feel deeply isolating, but healing doesn’t have to be. Therapy has empowered me to take control of my diagnosis and reframe what once seemed alien or frightening. I still attend therapy, and it continues to shape my growth in meaningful ways. Just as physical therapy heals the body, mental therapy nurtures the mind. It’s not a weakness; it’s deliberate, brave care for a vital part of ourselves.
My Four Pillars Model, built on psychiatry, therapy, family, and faith, holds deep truth. Each pillar reinforces the others, and I’ve learned that true strength comes from nurturing all four. Therapy, particularly the transformative exercise of personifying my medications, has kept me committed to my treatment. This practice helped me see their value on a personal level, fundamentally changing how I view my care.
The trust I built through therapy has strengthened my relationship with my psychiatrist, and the stability I’ve gained through medication has allowed me to fully engage with my faith community and show up more fully for my family. Click here if you would like to read more about my story, From Chaos to Strength: My Bipolar Journey to Healing and Redemption.
Mr. Lamictal stabilizes my mood, Ms. Prozac lifts depressive lows, and Mr. Klonopin calms anxiety. Together, they help me manage bipolar disorder with balance and clarity.